Today feels like a beginning - a fresh start in so many ways. I'm starting my new "job", working in the kitchen at Portland Rescue Mission. I've begun and hope to stick with a moderate diet (post-menopause having robbed me of anything like an hour-glass shape). My vegetable seeds are all in and await a little sunshine (rain not wanting here in the Pacific Northwest!). Spring has brought forth flowering trees and plants all over my world!! Talk about beginnings!
And, finally, Summer is right around the corner. YES!! Summer means warmth. Give me warmth. Days idling 'neath my heavy-branched maple trees, reading a good book and sipping a good wine! Sigh! Trips to California, enjoying Micaela's laughter and good stories, Phillip's solemn pronouncements and sarcastic complaints, and Alex's dreams and hopeful plans for his future. What riches for this grandmother!
Summer also means that Rae Anne will be home for a while: who knows how long? We are something of a wayfarer's station for her as she moves from one life to another, each more challenging and exciting than the previous. I envy her the world travel she has experienced. Her wanderlust and need to immerse her selfless self in suffering humanity seem to know no bounds. Sometimes I wish I could pack up and follow her. But she is my eyes on the world - she helps me see and understand what is happening out there. She has opened my heart, globally speaking, and taught me to value cultures vastly different than my own. I am grateful for the safe world I inhabit, yet humbled by the knowledge that others love their land and struggle for it in ways I can never appreciate. I remember a song I learned in school; it was set to the tune of "Finlandia". Today the words ring truer than ever for me:
"This is my song, oh God of all the nations,
A song of peace for lands afar and mine.
This is my home, the country where my heart is;
This is my hope, my dream, my shrine.
But other hearts in other lands are beating,
With hopes and dreams, the same as mine.
My country's skies are bluer than the ocean;
The sunlight beams on clover leaf and pine.
But other lands have sunlight too, and clover.
And skies are sometimes blue as mine.
Oh hear my song, thou God of all the nations;
A song of peace for their land and mine".
Would that that prayer could be answered in the hearts of all man (and woman) kind. What a great beginning, in truth, if we could begin to see all peoples as our real brothers and sisters. Then we could love, serve, and live together in harmony. I know that won't happen any time soon, but it's a vision worth embracing. Perhaps FEAR lies at the bottom of our inadequacy to relate to one another. Fear of being hurt; fear of losing possessions; fear that we will have to change; fear that someone else could be "right", making us less "right". Fear that we are not the be-all and end-all of the universe! Legitimate fears: for if we do take the risk to reach out we may, in fact, be hurt; perhaps we'll choose to give up things that we treasure; certainly we will begin to change; and, yes, we will be able to allow someone else to be strong. After all, we are not the center of the universe, but we know Who is and we know that He is Perfect Love. And scripture tells us, "Perfect Love casts out Fear".
So I'm choosing some new beginnings today. And I suspect that change may not be limited only to my circumstances; change might actually occur in me. A hopeful thought. Change means growth; and, after all, eternal growth is what Old Crones are all about.
